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I promised myself I would rant less - it’s not good for my blood pressure and, I am led to believe, scares the local cats and dogs. I made this promise to myself yesterday - and now today I’m going to have to break it. I heard something on the news this morning which almost caused me to spill my tea which really would have put me in a bad mood. There was an article on the BBC Breakfast program about children as young as 8 or 9 putting personal details on Social Networking Sites and putting themselves at risk. Let me state categorically that I agree that this is not a good thing in any way at all. However, there is a ‘but’…
There was vast amounts of pontificating about the fact that the Government should do something, the Government was worried, Teachers should do something….most of this was coming from parents who said in the interviews that they had no idea what their children were doing online, didn’t know what the privacy settings were on their computers and worse. What has happened to parental responsibility? It is not the responsibility of the Government to bring up your children. It not the responsibility of Teachers to control what your children do outside the classroom. BREAKING NEWS HERE - it is YOUR responsibility as a parent to watch over your children!
I am not the perfect parent, I’m sure I made lots of mistakes but I am also damn sure I knew what my daughter was up to most of the time and I certainly would not have allowed her to roam the highways and byways of the internet unsupervised if it had existed in those far off days. I don’t believe in wrapping your children in too much cotton wool. It’s my stated belief that children should have dirty elbows and scabby knees, they should climb - and fall out of - trees, they should paddle in ponds and learn how to solve problems by taking risks - controlled risks. But as a parent it is your responsibility to ensure the safety of your child, no one else’s. It is your responsibility to control those risks. If you can’t be bothered then you don’t deserve to have children.
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
thefluffanutta 04.02.08 at 1:13 pm
I agree with you - parents are ultimately responsible.
However, I also believe that the social network providers should accept some of the responsibity, and educate their users about the risks. For example, Microsoft’s instant messenger app is always popping up warnings about not posting yout personal data or telephone/credit card numbers.
Interestingly, neither Bebo or Facebook permit under thirteens to sign up. Not that anyone reads the TOS, never mind the kids eager to hookup with their school chums online.
thefluffanutta
garethjax 04.02.08 at 4:03 pm
That’s the same tune singed again and again by parents and pedagogues: The tv is guilty, internet is guilty … now the social networks are responsile for the vital data the kids may put online. That’s preposterous.
Parents and sons need to find more time to tag along and learn somethings from each other. That’s the only safe way to learn things.
Ron Rink 04.03.08 at 12:12 pm
You’ve really hit home for me. My wife’s two granddaughters are at “that age”. We are responsible for their care 4 days each week. Our computers are not in a regular living area, so when the girls want to be on the computer, we either have to not do anything else that needs doing in the house and sit with them in the office, or leave them in the office by themselves. During the day I’m already working in the office on another computer, but I still don’t have eyes in the back of my head. In the evenings, (which is when they’re usually here) that’s when household chores keep us out of the office area.
So, how do you set up your system for parental controls? I’ve looked, and don’t see anything obvious. I did Google it — and I do see various software items offered, but I’d love some recommendations. What do you folks do? I know one example that might be difficult to overcome, is that when the girls are on a site that is innocent enough, there are links to other sites that aren’t — like YouTube. Are there controls to cover this sort of “back-door” access?
All help is appreciated. I know it’s our job as caretakers to protect — and it’s a real bug-a-boo to outsmart these kids. They’re learning from the experts — their peers at school.
Thanks.
Be in Peace ….
Nessa 04.03.08 at 2:15 pm
Amen!!! Hallelujah!!! Yesssssssssssssssssssssss, i’m not the only one who gets tired of the damn excuses!!! Parent your kids, don’t let the internet do it for you!!!
Nessa
flaminglacer 04.03.08 at 3:16 pm
Hi Ron,
Most good Antivirus software has a parental controls section where you can set permissions for sites which you deem inappropriate. Many ISP’s, like mine, also provide parental controls as part of the package and you should check first to see if that is the case - that way you don’t even need to spend any extra money! There are certificate and/or content ratings which can be enabled and which will block sites outside those parameters. Most of these allow you, as the responsible adult, to bypass these with a password. Many of them also check the site content against parameters that you have set before allowing access. You can also block individual sites. Another alternative, using these parental controls, is to set up a profile for your children or grandchildren which has access only to limited sites.
You can also use your browser security settings to block certain sites that you don’t want the children to access if you so wish.
There are many different types and the choice really depends on your way of using your computers.
Bob O 04.05.08 at 6:00 am
Amen! I agree with you 100%. Those parents who don’t know what their kids are doing on the computer and don’t know how to set their privacy settings shouldn’t own a computer to begin with! We keep the family computer in the dining area where we can keep an eye on the kids. When I found out my stepdaughter had posted her personals on “Myspace” I immediately got her password..cleared it out…then restricted myspace from my computer entirely…none of my kids..even the 18 & 19 yr old were able to access it from our house. Unfortunately, I found out she was accessing it from her friends’ houses. Again, being the responsible parent..I had to call her friends’ parents and ask they not allow her on their computers because of what she was doing. Not only are we battling our kids…we’re battling our kids’ friends’ parents who don’t seem to care. They’re too busy trying to be their kids’ friends instead of their parents. Anyway..a good and timely post. Parents should never delegate their authority over to the government.
regina 04.06.08 at 1:01 am
Great post! Very nice blog you have here!
TK 05.03.08 at 8:33 pm
great post, i agree entirely. parents need to parent and take responsibility. kids need the guidance.
thanks for reminding all